Sunday, November 20, 2016

Thrift

 Thrift, thrift, Horatio.  The funeral baked meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.

      Good ol’ Hamlet cynically excuses his mother for her marrying his uncle in a month after his father’s death.  Her quick marriage was all in the name of economy.  The left over roasts served at the funeral dinner made for good cold cuts at the wedding reception.
     Thus an early reference (by Shakespeare, no less) to the Scandinavian reputation for being tight.  However, I think my own “economy” came more from the non-Scandinavian side of my heritage, from my maternal grandfather. 
     I remember him sitting in the chair by the south doorway, where a disabling stroke landed him.  Within his reach were ashtray, matches, blanket, and a rope-and-pulley device he was supposed to use to rehabilitate his arm that was paralyzed by the stroke. 
     Mostly, he tended his cigar.  One cigar lasted him a long time.  When it went out, he would relight it.  When I visited, he would ask me to reposition his ashtray.  When I got it where he wanted it, he would say, “That’s the stuff, son.”  (That same ashtray still stands in the farmhouse basement.)    
     He would relight and smoke his cigar until it was too short to hold between finger and thumb.  Then, he would stick a toothpick into the butt and smoke it down to a nub.  If you don’t consider the number of matches he used, there wasn’t much waste there.
     I seem to have inherited his thrifty habits.  Someone near and dear to me usually says I am “cheap”, sometimes changing that to “thrifty” when are among lesser-known acquaintances, when she is trying to put a good face on things.
     In my singing hobby, we sometimes are required to download and print copies of music.  (Supposedly, we have paid the fee to make the copies, thus staying within the bounds of copyright laws.)  I always print front and back of the page.  Many other fellows simply print one side, avoiding the hassle of printing front and back, but using twice as many pages.
     Once while rehearsing with my quartet, I shared my copy of the music with a fellow singer.  He turned the page, searched for the continuation from the first page, and realized page two was on the back of page one.  He remarked about the use of both sides of the page.
     In reply, I was tempted to say something about saving a tree for tomorrow.  Instead, I shared with him Grandad’s using a toothpick to get the most out of his cigar.  I explained I was by nature, thrifty.
      At the time, I was still driving the old Dakota pickup with its six feet of glass pack muffler that didn’t do a lot of muffling.  The boys said they always knew when I was coming because they could hear me a mile off.  They gently suggested I should look for a new pickup.
     I protested that the old gal still ran great, even if it was a little loud and looked pretty sad.  Ted said, “Yeah, you have a lot of toothpicks left in your box, don’t you?”
      I laughed heartily.  When you tell someone something, you never know if they are truly listening.  I knew Ted heard my Grandad story and had taken it to heart.
     Yes, I still have a lot of toothpicks in my box. 
     Once, a nun’s siblings noticed how sincerely she had taken her vows of poverty, as her robes were threadbare and patched.  They decided to go together and buy her new clothes.  They were surprised some time later when they found her wearing the same old clothes while the new outfit hung in her closet.  By way of explanation, the sister told her siblings, “Old habits are hard to change.”
      I concur.




      

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