Bill’s New Carpet

     Finally.  He heard the car drive into the driveway, then the footsteps coming up the sidewalk.  She was late.

      It was noon.   Bill didn’t have much time.  He had to get back to school.  She would be in for a double surprise.

     But wait!  There were voices.  She was talking to someone.  She wasn’t alone.  She had brought a guest home for lunch.  Bill made a lunge for his pants.

     It all began with the decision to replace the living room carpet.  The decision went through all the stages, finding the right fabric, the right texture, the right color, prices compared, the decision made.  Then the furniture, shelves, everything had to be moved out of the room.

      It had been a lot of work.  Bill came home at noon as usual for his short noon break from school.  Normally, he had enough time to go through the mail, maybe grab a snack and head back to the brain factory.

      When he opened the door this time, the smell of new carpet greeted him.  The carpet layers had finished the job and had gone by the time Bill got home.  Three steps brought him to the living room entrance, and there it was, the new carpet.  Finally.  It had been a long haul. 

      There was still the work of replacing all the furniture, entertainment center, bookcase, all the things that had been removed.  Probably the room would have to be painted before any of that happened.  But for right now, there it was, the empty room with new carpet.

     Bill decided the moment called for a celebration.  He didn’t have much time.  The missus would be home soon.

      Jean was the head of the nurses at the local hospital.  In those days, the hospital was run by nuns.  The hospital had started as a Catholic enterprise, and the nuns still controlled things.

     Occasionally, a bigwig nun would visit to see that things were going right.  On this day, the bigwig lady had called and was checking out the nurses.  Her visit ran into the noon hour.  Jean thought it would be a nice touch to take the sister home for lunch.

     They were visiting as they walked up the sidewalk.  Jean warned that the house was in a bit of chaos with the furniture displaced for the carpet laying.  As she opened the door, she heard Bill scrambling inside.

     Bill managed to get his underwear on, but he stumbled getting his trousers on.  He only had one leg in place when the ladies walked in.  There he stood, pants half on as his wife and her sister-guest-supervisor walked through.

     Jean didn’t miss a beat.  “Well, get your pants on,” she said as she led her guest through the clutter to the kitchen.  What her guest thought remained unspoken.  Maybe she thought he was part of the displaced furniture.  She too gave Bill a glance and followed her hostess to the kitchen.

     Bill completed dressing.  It must be time to go back to school, he thought.  He made his excuses for leaving and headed back to school.

      Flowers rather than a nude model might have been a better means of celebrating the new carpet, Bill decided.  But one thing for sure, it was one piece of carpet that neither of them would forget.