Toenail Fungus

      Once I heard my mother say, ”A young man talks about his sexual exploits, an old man about his bowel movements.”

     Let us add a corollary:  An old man, or woman, will talk about personal health problems.    

     Fungal infections have been a nemesis of mine since first I entered the field of athletics.  I picked up my first case of athlete’s foot from shower and locker room floors at the old school that no longer exists. 

      A trip to Oklahoma during my career as a “wheatie” would infect me with both athlete’s foot and jock itch.  Somewhere in middle age, I developed toenail fungus.

     The attempt to cure:  I have taken oral prescriptions twice in my life.  They get rid of the jock itch and the athlete’s foot.  They can clear up toenail fungus, too, but there are a couple of drawbacks.  The newer concoctions are expensive.  All, as far as I know, take a toll on the liver.  When the athlete’s foot has disappeared after six or eight weeks of swallowing the prescription, the toenail fungus will be less than half-gone.

     You need to save the liver for filtering out the ill effects of healthy doses of wine or beer.  So, patent medicines:  Traditional athlete’s foot powders and salves won’t touch toenail fungus.  The ones for the toenails are expensive, and the “guaranteed to work” ones have an oral component that must be taken at the same time you apply the stuff to the nails.  Out of consideration for my liver, again, I have never tried any of those.

      Home remedies:  Most are ineffective, such as Vicks Vapor Rub or any of its knockoffs.  It smells great and gives your toes a warm glowing feeling.  The fungus likes it, too, I think.

    Chlorine bleach, straight or diluted with water, won’t do much.  The toe skin can get pretty sore from dipping the toes in chlorine, and the fungus doesn’t abate.

     Hydrogen peroxide doesn’t do anything except lighten the ugly nicotine color of infected nails a little bit.

      Listerine, like Vapor Rub, gives your toes a warm fuzzy feeling, especially nice on a January morning,  Repeated dippings will have no effect on the infected toenails.

     What works?  By far the best “cure” is good old-fashioned white vinegar.  (Most of the patent cures have an acid as the active ingredient.) No, don’t drink the vinegar.  Dip your toes in it, as in bleach or Listerine, for 15 minutes or so.  You see the problem.  Who has the time or patience to sit still for 15 minutes with toenails immersed in vinegar?  (I use two cottage cheese or sour cream containers.)

      I suppose daily treatments would be very effective, but I have never been able to do more than two or three treatments in a week.  At that rate, I “cured” my worst nail, the left big toe.  After about six months, the old discolored nail fell off.  The new nail came in clean.  Other nails were much improved, but not clear. 

     I backslid, treating only once a month or so.  The nail fungus came back.

     Three or four years ago, someone gave me a copy of the McCook (Nebraska) Gazette with an article on toenail fungus.  It touted Columbia Foot Powder. 

      Grain-of-salt time.  I’ve read a lot of articles in Reader’s Digest or Farmers’ Almanac or other such publications on “home remedies that work.” You didn’t think I came up with all those “cures” I’ve tried all by myself, did you?  Most don’t work.  I probably got the idea of using vinegar from one of them, so I can’t declare 100% failure rate.

     I didn’t try the foot powder right away.  I couldn’t find any at local or even huge chain drug stores.  I found it on the internet.  It was expensive, nearly $30 by the time I paid the shipping.  I did finally bite the bullet and ordered. 

      I have been using it for over a year with pretty good results.  I’m not cured, but I’m improved.  The yucky color has abated.  The nails are not getting worse, as they did when I backed off the vinegar treatments.

      A few weeks ago, I decided to read the label to see what the active ingredient of Columbia Foot Powder is:  zinc oxide.  Now I carry a small tube of zinc oxide in my shaving kit so that when I don’t want to carry the big foot powder bottle, I can still treat my nails every morning when I put on my socks.

     It’s too early, and treatment has been too sporadic, to say if works.  But there you have it, my years of original research into dealing with toenail fungus.

     If you can come up with a way to apply vinegar without all the cumbersomeness of toe dipping, say a “toe stall” like a thumb stall, or something more clever, I will do my best to get you a spot on “Shark Tank.”