Doldrums

     Sunrise 8:04, sunset 5:39. I figure if I ever moved to Alaska, my life expectancy would drop to less than one year.  If I went there in the spring, I would do myself in during June or July trying to remain active and productive from dawn to sunset.  If I went in October, the lack of sunlight would finish me off before Christmas.

     In The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, the ship containing the criminal who shot and killed the albatross fell into the doldrums.  There the ship stayed until the crew starved and thirsted to death.  The crew bodies would be inhabited by spirits who man the skeleton ship (all the boards shrunk until there’s nothing but frame) and return the albatross-killer, the sole survivor, and dead crew to their home port in England.

      The winter doldrums aren’t as bad as the Mariner’s, I think.  The doldrums, by the way, are (is?) the area(s?) along the equator which is a sort of DMZ for the north and south winds.  They either stay out of there completely, or have some tremendous battles there.

      The holidays are mostly to blame for the winter doldrums.  After an extended week of sumptuous sugar and fat highs coupled with fizzy beverages, there’s nowhere to go but down as in, back to work.  I think those old Puritans were on to something when they banned holidays like Christmas.  Don’t put on any midwinter celebrations.  Steer an even keel and tough out those short days and long nights.

    Easy to say this soon after emptying your stocking, eating that orange and candy cane and keeping warm with that lump of coal and you don’t have to be nice again for another 50 weeks.

     It could be worse.  You could be in customer service and have to deal with all the nasty callers who are upset because they bought it on Black Friday and the 30 days are up and you had to leave the tags attached to the garment and have the sales receipt and the gift card you got last year and never spent is being hit $2 per month for inactivity fees.

    Well, that’s almost all behind us for another year, and here’s a quick glimpse of our holidays:

      The prize for the best gift decoration goes to Josh for putter wrapping.  Included were wire nuts, stick pins, egg cartons, bubble wrap, a nose and tail. 

    Gung Hay Fat Choy!  Woops.  That’s Chinese.  Akemashite Shinnen Omedeto Go Zai Mashu!  (Word is prejudiced.  It didn’t flag Chinese for being ungrammatical, but it sure did Japanese.)

      And here’s what I’ve been doing in the New Year.

  

  Putting new wine in old skins?

      Of course, the doldrums only affect sailing ships.  One way to get out of them, put a motor in that boat.