Low class. Probably.
The habit of
watching television while dining.
Summers, at the
farm, we indulged, mostly at noon, which we referred to as “dinner.” Also probably a low-class marker, calling the
noon meal dinner. Some other folks I
know insist that the noon meal is “lunch” even though our noon meal was the
biggest one of the day. Then we had a
light meal of sandwiches or leftovers or whatever at “supper,” the evening
meal. I guess we had no lunch, unless we
were in school.
For many
summers, we watched “Wheel of Fortune” and “Jeopardy” from 12 noon to 1
p.m. Those were the days when dinner at
12 noon was cast in stone. Be late for
that and you would be in for some unpleasantness.
As the old guard
passed away, the 12-noon pillar dissolved.
We sometimes ate “lunch” as late as 2 or 3 p.m.
We continued to watch tv while we ate, but
the game shows gave way to cooking shows, or horrors of horrors, HGTV-style
home-remodel shows. As I had a belly
full of remodeling, the real thing, not some crew-directing wonder, I
objected.
When Christopher
Lowell turned a modern suburban-type kitchen into a nightmare complete with
fake palm plants and other froufrou, I laughed derisively and asked , “How
would you like to clean that up after you fired up a pot of grease to deep-fry something?”
I further
muttered words that I didn’t think anybody heard, words that today would get me
subjected to the Red Flag laws and charged with a hate crime: “He ought to be emasculated” (not what I
really said). Indications were that I
had been heard. Moments later, as an
after-thought, I quite audibly followed up with, “Three days later, he ought to
be taken out and shot.”
My derision has
declined in recent years, probably because I haven’t had to watch any such
truck for a long time. The Goodwife
still enjoys watching home makeovers and house buying and selling, but not at
mealtimes, and I can usually find something else to do.
After my
outburst, we compromised. No sewing,
quilting, or home shows. Instead, we watched
cooking shows.
So it was, I
became familiar with another Christopher, Chris Kimball, host of “America’s
Test Kitchen” and another show or two. Julia
and Bridgette became regulars at the dinner table. It seemed natural to watch a cooking show while
eating. Some of their recipes were
tempting.
As mealtime was
no longer set at a certain time of the afternoon, I became familiar with other
television chefs. Julia Child, for
example, who was an old lady in those days and often hosted other cooks who did
the work for her.
There were some I
didn’t become so well-acquainted with and can’t remember their names. One was a southerner whose specialty was
grilling. I remember him not so much for
his recipes, but because when he was transferring a batter or marinade from
bowl to pan or whatever, he went to great lengths to be sure he got every drop
out of the bowl he was emptying. He
always had a spatula handy to wipe out the bowl before he could go to the next
step.
I recognized a
kindred spirit who believed fervently, “Waste not, want not.” Unfortunately, some folks I know consider
that cheapness bordering on stinginess!
Anyway, I
remember other cooks. Ming, Asian cooking,
Patty’s Mexican Table, etc. Perhaps my
favorite over the years has been Sarah Molten.
She is a cute, petite blond, or at least I think she is petite. One thing for sure, she hasn’t grown obese over
the years by eating her own cooking.
Sarah was a
student of Julia Child, which doesn’t really matter to me. Maybe what fascinates me about her is she is
left-handed. I refer to her as Left-Handed
Sarah. To watch her whacking away at a
vegetable at the speed of a machine gun with her left hand while ushering the
veggie toward that knife with her right hand always amazes me. I can only think of what my non-knife had
would look like if I tried to go at that speed, either left-handed or
right-handed.
Which brings me
back to the “Providence” thing. I don’t
remember any recipes from watching those shows, but I realize I was learning
some things, like how to deseed a cucumber for instance. Or from Sarah, how to measure exactly a cup
of flour, or cut up an onion from pole to pole instead of through the equator,
processes she attributes to her apprenticeship under Julia Child.
Or from Martha Stewart,
that ex-con who served time for insider stock trading (Hillary Clinton did some
insider trading in cattle futures and went to the White House several thousand
dollars richer for her effort), how to boil and shell fresh eggs. “And that’s a good thing.”
Or from Ming and Lydia (Italian cook), always have a thimbleful (or a little more) of wine while
preparing supper (still not dinner even though it’s the main meal of the “day”). I didn’t realize I was picking up skills and
tips that I would need in later life when life’s circumstances would cast me in
the role of chief cook.
By extension, I
guess I should have been watching how to
vacuum or load a dishwasher or run a clothes washer and dryer or go shopping
for groceries or . . . . .
I still refuse
to dust. Come visit us? Leave your white gloves at home. Beware that if you are offered something to
eat, who made it.
We are back to
watching “Jeopardy” and “Wheel of Fortune” at or near evening meal time,
whether it’s called lunch, dinner or supper.
Low class?
Too bad.
